Perfect Gifts for Seniors Living in Assisted Living Facilities

It's no secret that finding the perfect gift for a senior citizen is a bit difficult, but shopping for a present for someone living in an assisted living facility is a little more tedious. Individuals in long-term care facilities may not need much more than the everyday necessities. However, when it comes birthdays or Christmas presents, they deserve something a little extra special too.

Keep it simple. There's no need to go overboard with the gifts you buy for an individual living in assisted living facility. In many places, the seniors' rooms remain unlocked, so you will want something that isn't extremely valuable in case it gets broken or misplaced

Gifts for Seniors in Long-Term Care Facilities

Here are some gift ideas for those living in nursing homes or other types of long-term residential facilities:

• Soap, lotions and other toiletries


• Tissues with decorative holders


• Box of miscellaneous greeting cards with pre-stamped envelopes


• Filled picture frames and photo albums


• Homemade treats (if allowed)


• Decorative hand towels


• Lap blankets


• Phone cards


• Homemade arts and crafts (from grandchildren)


• Favorite music on CD


• Large-print books and puzzles


• Housecoat and slippers


• Bed jacket, shawl or nice cardigan sweater


• New shirts and pants


• New blanket or afghan


• Pads of paper and pens to write notes


• Hats, scarves and gloves


• Stuffed animals


• Large dial watch or alarm clock


• Costume jewelry and hair accessories

Gifts That Keep Giving

There are also many gifts you can give to someone living in an assisted living facility that don't cost anything more than time. Most often, these mean more than items purchased from a store:

• Acknowledgement:Just smiling and saying hello to other residents gives them a feeling of reassurance and respect


• Compliments: Taking notice of a resident's new haircut or sweater will boost his or her self-esteem.


• Conversation:Many residents enjoy talking especially to someone new. Spend a few minutes chatting with several residents; it will make their day.


• Teach a skill: Knitting and crocheting are pretty popular at senior housing facilities, so if you have these skills, spend an afternoon with residents who enjoy these crafts too. If possible, bring in some extra yarn and needles or hooks so others can get involved.


• Reading: Spend a few hours each week or month reading to those who can no longer see well enough to read.


• Bring on the music: If you are musically inclined or know someone who is, spend some time each month conducting sing-a-longs with the residents.


• Activity helper: Call out numbers for a bingo game or help players with their game cards


• Raise money: Organize a community fundraiser to help raise funds for an assisted living facility; money raised can purchase crafts and other activities.

Final Note

Don't buy gifts that are heavy or take up a lot of space. There isn't much room for them. Also, many residents of assisted living facilities don't have families or friends who visit, so you may want to add them to your shopping lists for birthdays or Christmas. They will certainly enjoy and appreciate being remembered.

Information on Clinical Trial Injuries

Clinical trials are a very important aspect of the pharmaceutical world. Prior to any new drug or medical apparatus being put into use for consumers, it must first go through rigorous testing to ensure safety. This is done in the form of clinical trials, usually involving humans. In order to ensure human test subjects are protected, the federal government has put certain regulations and guidelines into effect. While these regulations and guidelines are meant to protect people, there are times when they are not followed, and with the rush to get products to market and increase profits, clinical trial injuries are becoming more and more common.

There are three ethical principles that have been put into place to protect human participants in clinical trials. They are as follows:

Respect for the Person: The premise for this guideline is further divided into two individual moral requirements - the requirement to recognize independence and the requirement to protect subjects with reduced independence.

Beneficence: Subjects are to be treated in a manner that is ethical by ensuring their security and well being is protected. Two main rules are applied - do no harm, and maximize the potential benefit while minimizing risk.

Justice: This asserts to answer the questions of who will receive the benefits of the research and who should accept its responsibility. Injustice is classified as an entitled person not receiving the benefit without proper reason or if someone is forced to bear greater responsibility than others.

In addition to these three principles being put into place, there are also guidelines for applying these principles. They are as follows:

Informed Consent: The subject wishing to participate in the clinical research should be able to understand what is involved with the process, the associated risks, and how involved he or she will be with the research. Having informed consent is the cornerstone of the federal regulations and guidelines.

Risk Assessment: The researcher and sponsors of the study, as well as others associated with the trial should be able to properly assess the risk to the subjects taking part. If a human subject is harmed during the trial, the risk assessment process and the way that risk is conveyed to the subjects should be looked into.

Subject Selection: Those in charge of the trial are responsible for assessing the benefits to human subjects while weighing the risks that will be faced. Those who are vulnerable should not be exploited and should be carefully considered when approached for participation.

If you or someone you know has suffered injuries because of taking part in a clinical trial, the issue of informed consent plays a major role when bringing forth a lawsuit. Even if a signed form has been provided, it could still be argued that true informed consent, as classified by the federal regulations, was not given. This is a very complex issue that must be handled by a skilled attorney.

It was the Nuremberg Code that first recognized the importance of ethical treatment of human test subjects and informed consent. This set a standard for scientists and physicians who were conducting experiments on prisoners during World War II. It was this code that brought to light how far people will go for science and has been referred to specifically in the federal guidelines and regulations that were drafted for human test subjects in clinical trials. Regulators also took into account the Belmont Report, which was created by the National Commission for the Protection of Human Subjects of Biomedical and Behavioral Research. Using these pieces of information three main components of informed consent were laid out:

Information: Human participants must be provided with adequate information regarding the research being conducted. This includes detailed data on the type of study being conducted, how long it will last, the associated risks, if it is experimental, and various other types of important information.

Comprehension: How effectively and clearly information is communicated is just as important as the actual information. Those handling the clinical trial must convey the information in a way that is clear, effective, and organized. The subjects should be allowed to ask questions and receive detailed answers, and they should be of sound mind to comprehend what they are being told.

Voluntary Consent: Consent has to be at the test subject free will without undue pressure. There can be no coercion to get the person to sign the informed consent form.

When injuries result from a clinical trial, there are usually two factors that are looked into: was there informed consent, and was there something wrong with the process of the clinical trial.

Even with protections in place, there are times when those who are conducting the trials are negligent in their approach, or carry out medical procedures incorrectly. Other times it is just not possible to conduct the research without injuring someone who participates.

The vast majority of clinical trial injuries that occur are due to a lack of informed consent to take part in the trial, or a lack of consent for one portion of the trial. The results of these issues include battery and assault, scientific fraud, clinical negligence, breach of the right to dignity, and in some cases wrongful death.

If you or someone you know has been harmed because of taking part in a clinical trial, you should not delay in contacting a personal injury attorney who is skilled in negligence and medical malpractice. These professionals know the ins and outs of this area of the law extremely well, and will handle every aspect of your case from start to finish. He or she will deal with everyone involved in your case, will collect medical records, will compile all types of evidence, will determine all responsible parties, will interview witnesses, and will arrange for expert testimony when needed. Since most personal injury attorneys work on a contingency basis, you do not have to worry about funding your claim in advance. This means that you have very little to lose, and a great deal to gain!

Licensed Practical Nurses: What They Do

What exactly do licensed practical nurses do and where can they work? As a nurse, those are usually the questions that you may be asked by some people. Because the LPN's roles are unique, answering such questions can be a bit tough. So here are some of the answers you might be looking for.

1. What is an LPN?

A licensed practical nurse is also called a license vocational nurse and a registered practical nurse. Their names vary depending on the state or country you are in. Generally, license practical nurses are those who have undergone training and have obtained a license that allows them to provide routine care to the sick.

2. What are the roles and responsibilities of an LPN?

An LPN's role in the medical facility depends on the state or country where he or she is working in. In some states, such as Texas, licensed practical nurses have a wide range of roles, making their tasks almost the same as the registered nurses'. They can initiate IV starts, administer medications with an IV push, as well as maintain central lines. There are other states though, like New York, that gives more limits to the LPNs' roles.

Generally, an LPN performs the following:

1. Checking vital signs

2. Wound care

3. Wound dressing changes

4. CPR

5. Finger stick blood sugar testing.

6. Ostomy site care and maintenance.

7. Urinary catheter insertion and care

8. Specimen collection

9. Data collection

10. Monitoring for changes in condition

11. Date collection

12. Medication administration

13. Caring of patients with ventilators and tracheostomies

14. Charting

15. Documentation

3. Who do they report to?

LPNs report to a registered nurse or a physician. They work under their supervision. LPNs are also tasked to oversee and supervise nursing assistants in some medical facilities.

4. Where can LPNs be employed?

LPNs are able to work in acute care hospitals. However, this kind of employment is recently losing popularity, as some states seem to be having issues about the real scope of an LPNs tasks. LPNs can also be employed in hospices, private duty cases, nursing homes, group homes, rehabilitation centers, prisons, assisted living facilities, schools and psychiatric hospitals.

5. What is the main difference between LPNs and RNs?

This may ignite disagreement among nurses, but generally, RNs have a much wider knowledge on pharmacology, pathophysiology, management, legal issues, ethical practices and leadership. This is mainly due to the fact that RNs have a longer educational curriculum and program. In terms of salary, LPNs earn less than Registered Nurses.

RN Jobs Plentiful For New Grads and Returning Nurses

The registered nurse new graduate has a vast pool of resources to choose from for his or her nursing career. Many nursing jobs offer lucrative sign on bonuses for the registered nurse who stays with the employer for a said period of time.

A long term care facility offers many options for the registered nurse that other nursing fields many not offer. A nursing home setting offers the new graduate or the returning nurse an opportunity to hone their clinical skills in a less stressful or less acute setting than a hospital. Although many hospitals offer preceptor training for returning nurses and new graduates, a nursing home facility can offer valuable training in a more casual environment. Scheduling for nurses tend to more flexible in the long term care setting.

Administrative nursing positions may be what a new grad or what a returning nurse has in mind before embarking on a clinical work environment. RN jobs in an office setting might entail working with insurance companies or hospital bill auditing. Whichever path the registered nurse takes in their career, the options are many. Pay scale for the new graduate or returning nurses can be very competitive and if the nurse choose employment in a hospital setting, the benefits package for the full time nurse are usually very good.

The health care and nursing field is one that offers much job security. Whether the registered nurse chooses to work in a clinical or office setting, the options are great. A new graduate or a returning to practice nurse can choose to work in a hospital, nursing home, doctor's office, school or an outpatient facility. Most opportunities afford the nurse flexibility. This flexibility allows the nurse to be able to fulfill other obligations such as taking care of their families, working a part-time job, or pursuing their education.

When a registered nurse attains their license, they can also choose to take another path in their lives and return to the nursing field when either their children are grown, or after they've fulfilled other obligations that they may have had. This profession offers a great entry level pay that can be comparable to what many people are earning after many years on the job in a different field. RN opportunities also provide many different work shifts to the employee. The registered nurse can choose to work the day, evening or night shift, and can choose a variety of shift lengths as well, such as four, eight or twelve hour shifts.

In this precarious economy, registered nurses have an advantage over many other professionals, because it is widely recognized that the nursing and health care industry is recession proof. The nursing industry is growing everyday and therefore the prospect becomes even brighter for RN's, including those who've just graduated and those wanting to return to the field.

Senior Living Community Trends

Senior living communities are relatively new, are responding to constantly changing demands and while even this industry is reacting to the current economic downturn, baby boomers are creating and responding to trends in a variety of ways. A recent survey conducted by Mather LifeWays with Life Services of Illinois in late 2008 revealed some interesting findings. This survey is "significant because there are few published studies that examine trends in programs, amenities, and environments among aging services providers," states Mary Leary, President and CEO, Mather LifeWays.

Independent living is at the top of the list for most seniors and most are serious about technology. That means that senior living communities must offer state-of-the-art systems for computer savvy seniors. Those leaving the workforce today have become accustomed to and very adept at building their careers and a portion of their personal lives around computers. Seniors want services available that will allow them to maintain independence.

New models in Senior Living Communities
The Beacon Hill model, as described in American Association of Retired Persons Magazine is an innovative program that allows residents to stay in their homes and maintain their independence safely and comfortably. Beacon Hill Village in Boston is being embraced by communities with seniors across the nation because of its model as a full-service concierge program dedicated to linking older residents of the neighborhood with anything from a ride to the doctor's office to house painting services to free lectures and exercise classes. Members must live in the neighborhood and pay an annual fee. The Beacon Hills Village program has sparked grassroots movements across the country.

"The New Retirement Survey" released in 2005 by Merrill Lynch focused on how baby boomers, who are quickly approaching retirement age, will have a noticeable impact on all aspects of senior living, including housing. In fact, because baby boomers will fundamentally reinvent retirement by living longer and remaining engaged and employed beyond age 65, the impact will influence all trends in senior living communities. The survey describes the "turning point": 76% of boomers intend to keep working and earning after retiring from their current job and even exploring entirely new careers. This desire to continue working is motivated by earnings and by a desire for "continued mental stimulation and challenge which will motivate them to stay in the game." Naturally, this finding supports the senior living community trend of a desire for further education. Visit the Bernard Osher Foundation to learn about the location of classes and opportunities for lifelong learning offered by this well-regarded foundation.

Trends can also be observed in surveys targeting the operators and owners of these communities. The Mather Lifeways survey describes trends in senior living communities that include wellness and lifelong learning options available as well as environmental considerations, such as green living standards. The survey also found that wireless technology is opening even more opportunities to pursue a wealth of knowledge. Currently, 22% of continuing care retirement communities are now offering Web-based education; however that number is expected to soar to 69% over the next four years, while wellness offerings, including classes and recreation, are projected to grow to 52%, up from 25%. Studies also reveal that 35% of senior living community providers are expected to observe "green" standards in new construction or renovation.

Another study, by Ziegler Capital Markets, queried senior living community owners, explores senior living community trends from a marketing standpoint. The majority of respondents stated that their multi-site organizations have been impacted by the current downturn in the economy. When asked how they intend to react, most said they will offer a variety of discounts on monthly service and entrance fees, which will naturally be attractive to those considering a senior living community. Marketing programs are also focusing more on what their community can offer in response to trends in senior living communities.

Technology, independence, education, health and environmental concerns will undoubtedly keep the newest members of the senior population occupied, challenged and productive for many years.

Medical Alert Systems

Medical alert systems save lives. A large percentage of adults are now responsible for looking after their aging parents. It is a difficult transition from child to caregiver; there is a delicate balance between support and interference. Many older folks resent that they are no longer capable of the activities they once took for granted and are not willing to ask for help. These personal systems can support seniors with health issues who do not yet require assisted living.

Medical alert systems, also known as Personal Emergency Response Systems, may consist of a built-in two-way voice communicator unit and a personal help button. If the wearer needs assistance they push the button. The system is monitored 24-hours a day and the person monitoring the system will make contact with the alarm wearer. Emergency response operators are trained to assess the situation and dispatch the appropriate emergency services. Personal Emergency Response Systems ease the minds of family members who may live in different, distant cities and who worry about their parents living alone.

Losing a driver's license or being unable to keep up with household maintenance are just two of the signs that older parents need some assistance and supervision. Medical alert systems can assist in granting continued independence to seniors who prefer to remain in their own homes. While activities such as getting groceries or yard work might have to be contracted out, senior emergency systems mean that support is available for falls and emergency medical situations within the home. Many seniors are frightened by the thought of leaving their homes, most have spent lifetimes there but having medical alert systems could mean the difference between remaining at home a while longer or having to move into an assisted living facility.

Seniors are not the only group who are at risk for falls and emergency medical situations in the home. Individuals with limited mobility and other physical challenges, people confined to wheelchairs, can also benefit from these systems. Living alone and falling on the floor can be life-threatening to someone who is physically challenged or critically ill. Medical alert systems can literally mean the difference between life and death. Medical emergencies are not the only situations where these systems make a difference. Home invasions have been stopped in progress because the homeowners activated their medical alert systems in time for police to come in and arrest the offenders.

Medical alert systems are designed to fit smoothly into an active lifestyle. If the subscriber is going away for a month and calls ahead, it is possible that the system can be set up in the vacation destination if it is within the country. If there is a change in residences, the medical alert system can be moved along with the subscriber. Medical alert systems are available for purchase through many companies. Most alarm systems are installed, tested, and monitored for an affordable monthly fee. In some cases, subsidies are available for seniors or consumers that need financial assistance.

There are many options available for medical alert systems, and choosing a system can be fraught with emotional perils for children and parents alike. Seniors have to come to terms with the fact that they need medical alert systems; they are no longer able to rely on themselves. Children must recognize their parents' limitations, and in some cases might also be financially responsible for the systems that ensure their parents' safety. Communication is especially important so that users know how to program and access their personal emergency systems. Buying medical alert systems will save lives.

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." - Louis Hector Berlioz

Important Facts About Professional Liability Insurance For Nurses

In the health care industry this is a must have for all nurses. This is actually your protection for yourself against and all unforeseen situations that you cannot avoid while doing your job. This insurance will protect you from costs of legal and board action, which can be unavoidable at times. You have to face the fact that legal actions, although unwanted, can be a part of every health care professional's career. It is something looming all the time because of the sensitivity of what you are handling: human life. There might be errors that you will commit (unintentionally) and this is what Professional Liability Insurance is trying to protect.

Although we know that employers provide a good amount of coverage for this type of insurance it is still strongly advised that you carry your own. It is a small price to pay to protect your career and save you from the huge cost of legal fees. There are some cases before that even though their employers guaranteed their nurses that they are covered with this insurance it was found out those employers were not properly paying the premiums. Or sometimes when the liability or the cost of legal action is too big, insurance companies refuse to pay the amount like what happened in a legal battle in Massachusetts. Although this is a unique case still we saw that this can actually happen.

What can really happen while you are performing your duties? Even simple everyday routine can be a cause of legal action. That is why health care professionals including doctors are very careful when it comes to performing their jobs.

-You can be sued if you make a mistake while observing a patient or if someone else thinks that you did. This may be very simple when you look at it but the course of action could be huge and expensive. You may be innocent but still you will be taken to court to prove that you are innocent of the charges.

-Someone claims (employer or other party) that you made a mistake in reporting or recording patient's details.

-A doctor will claim that you made an error or misunderstood his directions.

-A patient or a relative of a patient may claim that you have provided inadequate patient care or carried out a differently the instructions given to you by doctors or superiors.

-You are already off duty but you still helped someone with an injury or any health situation (even though you mean well)

There are several things that you should always keep in mind while doing your job and about Professional Liability Insurance. First, make sure that your employer is actually providing you with this insurance and that it stays active all the time. You can have them provide you with written verification that they do purchase malpractice insurance and provide you with the limits or what are included in that coverage. Next is you should also purchase your own insurance. You should get this depending on where you work or where you live and what your specialization is. There are many insurance companies out there. Make sure you shop around first before settling to one.

Another thing you should consider is the difference between occurrence and claims made. Briefly, occurrence refers to the actual time the alleged malpractice took place while claims made refer to the actual time the claim is communicated to you including retroactive coverage for prior activities. Make sure that what is included in your policy are the ones that you actually need.

These are just some of the things you should keep in mind while you are actively performing your job. What you should also remember is even f you are already retired from your job, law suits can still haunt you because of a mistake you made or allegedly committed when you were still on active duty. That is why making sure you are properly covered with Professional Liability Insurance is very important in the performance of your job as a nurse.

Filing a Police Report After a Car Accident

After a car accident, do everything possible to document an accident so you can recover from an insurance company or another party if you are not at fault. Have a police report written up at the scene. After an accident, you may be injured and taken to the hospital. A police report helps you in finding out the names and addresses of the responsible parties.

A police report is also a public record that is an exception to the hearsay rule. Hearsay is an out of court statement offered to prove the truth of the matter asserted. Police reports are admissible evidence. Because people's memories and road conditions fade or change, a police report may be credible evidence at trial or settlement discussions. Police reports document what occurred a few moments after an accident. However, police reports are not business records because the persons interviewed do not have an obligation to make the reports.

The police report may even help in assigning liability if the police officer specifies a party violated the vehicle code. Even if there is no citation issued for a violation, the officer indicates the accident occurred because of the carelessness of one side. This information helps in settling a case, especially when there are pressing expenses that cannot be paid because of the lost income of a loved one or the inability of a deceased to care or protect the survivors. This may prevent the need for an accident victim to file bankruptcy. Filing bankruptcy will ruin a person's credit, though the damage is already done each time a bill is paid late.

Read up on the PA vehicle code after an accident. The party at fault or its insurance company may try to put the blame at the accident victim by misinterpreting the vehicle code, or saying that they have a witness who saw things differently.

If after the accident, an officer makes a negative comment in a police report about the accident victim or does not include something, find the officer and ask the officer to say for sure who is at fault, or state that the officer cannot tell clearly who is at fault if that is the situation. Be prepared that the police officer may go by the report. The police officer may do so many reports that he or she does not remember one accident from the other. If this is so, note the date and time when speaking with the officer so if another party says the accident victim is liable for the accident because of the officer's negative comment, the accident victim can say the officer already discussed about it and the officer declined to say specifically who was at fault.

The Legal Aspects of Herpes - To File Suit or Not to File Suit

If you got herpes from someone you may feel like filing suit against the person. You may be wondering if you can win your case and get a lot of money in damages. Well you can file suit against the person and you might win, but you can't count on getting a lot of money. This article will explain why it may not be advisable to go to court.

This is what can happen: You file suit and depending on the circumstances, and court and laws in your area, you may have an easy time or a difficult time winning in court. If it was with someone you hardly knew, the court may rule that since sex with a stranger is inherently risky, both participants assumed the risk of catching a disease. Some courts have suggested that each partner has an obligation to ask the other partner specific questions about disease, and that a failure to ask precludes a lawsuit. But usually the law favours the person who catches the sexually transmitted disease from a partner who knew that he or she was infected, but did not volunteer the fact.

If you do go to court, remember that courts are open to the public, and that everyone will know you have herpes. Would you be OK with that? Before court, the person may admit they had herpes and you must have gotten it from them. However, in court, that person may lie and say that you gave them herpes. Could this happen? Well, it has. People change when they get in court, especially if there is a lot of money involved, or even a modest amount of money involved. You might be able to get medical records that prove the person had herpes before you had sex, but you might not be able to get such proof. It is because the person may have been tested at an STD clinic where you do not have to give your last name, or with a doctor, using a false name. The defendants lawyer will ask all kinds of questions about your sexual history, such as how many partners you have had, and when. You may then have to prove that you did not get herpes from any of them, and this may not be easy to do. It is possible that you can win, and be awarded monetary damages, but now you are aware of what might be involved in winning.

The other possibility is to settle out of court. There will be two lawyers fees to consider, and you will have to at least appear ready to go to court during the proceedings. This is a big bluff, and something you should consider very carefully before spending money on a lawyer. You can get a lawyer to represent you easily enough for this, who may tell you will win for sure. But nothing is for sure, and the lawyer will charge you whether you win or lose.

This article is based on research I have done, but I am not a lawyer, and this should not be taken as legal advice. But I hope it has alerted you to some of what might be involved if you decide you want to take someone to court over herpes.

Thai Yoga Bodywork

Lotus Palm: The Mindfulness of Touch

One of the ancient healing arts of traditional Thai medicine (along with herbal medicine and spiritual meditation), Thai massage is a full-body massage, performed on a floor mat, with both parties in loose, comfortable clothes. It incorporates t'ai chi moves, rhythmic motion, palming and thumbing along sen lines (energy lines), gentle stretching and the conscious use of breath. The practitioner uses her hands, feet, arms and legs to guide the recipient through various yoga postures, while remaining focused on their own body-center. This combination of movements and focused awareness creates a slow, flowing "dance" around the recipient's body.

"Thai massage is a well-respected and proven healing art that's quickly gaining popularity in the West because of its meditative approach and its application of yoga's well-established benefits," said Kam Thye Chow, founder of Lotus Palm, one of the first North American schools of Thai massage, located in Montreal, Canada.

Chow, originally from Malaysia, has taught classes worldwide and written books on the practice of t'ai chi and massage. He views Thai massage as having far-reaching applications, and refers to the technique more accurately as Thai Yoga Bodywork because of its varied influences and appeal. "Yoga practitioners are finding it adds a whole new dimension, complementary to their practice. Nurses, physiotherapists and massage therapists are adding to their training with this technique. Also, the gentle opening and stretching of the body provided by the massage has improved the performance of athletes, martial artists and dancers," said Chow.

Thai massage has been described as assisted Hatha yoga. During a session, the practitioner pays careful attention to the recipient's level of flexibility and breath as they gently move the individual into different poses. Each pose is designed to open up the body and allow energy to flow freely along the sen lines (72,000 of which have been mapped out, although 10 major ones are focused on in Thai massage). This "opening" increases joint mobility and flexibility, improves circulation, tonifies organs, and relieves muscular and emotional tension.

Energy in Motion

Working the energy lines is the basis of Thai massage. Thai medicine is based on the belief there is an intrinsic life force or energy (prana) that circulates within the body. To create health and vitality, it is essential to allow this energy to circulate freely. When prana is blocked or restricted, sickness or disease results which can manifest physically, emotionally or even spiritually. The main purpose of Thai massage is to clear such blockages and allow energy to flow along the sen. Although not based on the Chinese meridian system, the sen line system is very similar.

By working the body physically and energetically, Thai massage produces a highly therapeutic effect that helps relieve common conditions such as low back pain, arthritis, headaches, digestive difficulties, menstrual and menopausal problems and stress-related conditions, as well as provide an overall sense of relaxation which helps people to deal better with emotional issues.

Though very dynamic, Thai massage is deeply relaxing, enabling the body and mind to rebalance naturally. As with any yoga practice, blood and lymph circulation are increased and internal organs are stimulated, all helping to strengthen the immune system, rebalance the endocrine system and clear toxins from the body. In addition, the variety of stretching and joint isolation exercises helps to increase joint mobility and flexibility. Since the technique respects each person's body type and level of flexibility, Thai massage is ideal for many individuals.

Synchronizing Movement and Breath

The stretching and energy line work in Thai massage is important in helping to lengthen muscles and make them more flexible, supple and less prone to injury, while joints benefit from a greater range of motion. Stretching also increases capillary density, thereby helping to address ischemia and promoting the release of lactic acid. This is particularly important in our culture that tends to emphasize more aggressive muscle movements resulting in the production of large quantities of lactic acid in the muscle fibers. In addition, studies have shown that stretching can raise the temperature of a tendon, which can have a protective effect via increased skeletal muscle tensile strength. The stretching in Thai bodywork also releases endorphins, further promoting a relaxation response.

Conscious use of breath has been proven to reduce both physical and emotional tension. In Thai bodywork, practitioners learn how to make clients more aware of how they use their breath and of areas of tension where the breath is impeded. As well, practitioners themselves are trained in how to use their own breath to facilitate transitions between postures, work with different body types, and to calm and synchronize their breath with the client's for deeper concentration and awareness.

Thai bodywork's emphasis on body awareness has also helped practitioners avoid many of the injuries common to bodyworkers today. Since the massage focuses on both the practitioner's and client's body, it allows for a session that places comfort and safety first. The importance of self-care is emphasized and integrated with the notion of creating a smooth, flowing session incorporating natural transitions that avoid straining either the practitioner's or the client's body. These transitions, based on the practice of t'ai chi, are essential to what Chow refers to as the "dance" of Thai massage -- the flowing movement and regular breath, the sense of moving from one's center and using one's weight vs. strength to avoid joint pain or injury. In this way, Thai bodywork respects the body's natural rhythms -- both external and internal.

The Lotus Palm Tradition

To understand where Thai massage is today, we return once again to its origins -- specifically, to the founder of Thai massage, Jivaka Kumar Bhaccha, a personal physician of the Buddha more than 2,500 years ago. Thai massage, in fact, developed within the environment of Buddhist temples, reflecting the spirit of metta (unconditional love and compassion) and vipassana (moment-to-moment awareness). As a practical application of these two forms of meditation, Thai massage emphasizes that, in its deepest essence, the massage is a meditative healing experience for both the recipient and the practitioner. Sessions in Jivaka's time were known to last several hours as part of a regular, spiritual practice.

Chow saw the importance of bringing the practice of Thai massage back to these more spiritual roots, though he also understood the need to develop a form of massage specifically adapted to Western bodies and needs.

"In Asia, people are generally smaller, more flexible and often squat or sit cross-legged on the floor," he explained. "Also, people in Thailand spend a lot of their working time in fields or doing some other form of manual labor. For this reason, Thai massage there focuses 75 percent on the lower body and legs. In the West, people sit more, and their bodies are generally taller and heavier. In addition, they spend more time at desks and computers. Also, because of the nature of our lives in North America, lengthier yoga-massage sessions are no longer practical." Chow decided that Thai massage in the West would need to divide its focus equally: 50 percent on the lower body and 50 percent on the upper body, within a 60- to 90-minute session, vs. the typical two-hour (or longer) sessions in Thailand.

"When I first came to North America, one of my teachers told me that any session less than two hours could not be called Thai massage," Chow said. But, after practicing and teaching in the West for five years, I've realized that it's better to teach an art that people can practice. It's the quality of the massage that matters, not the quantity."

Another factor was that, although Thai massage is readily available in Thailand today for as little as $6 in many massage clinics and there are reputable schools teaching the technique, it is often seen as either a "service" along the lines of hairdressing, or as a thinly-veiled prostitution offering -- neither of which is regulated in any way. The massage clinics operate without specific guidelines, and quality and training varies from clinic to clinic and region to region. The norm in Thailand is to have mass massages in a single clinic with up to 20 recipients being massaged next to one another.

All these factors led Chow to have his school recognized and accredited by a provincial massage federation in Canada, and gave him the impetus to develop the Lotus Palm method, which he teaches throughout North America, to bring Thai massage back to its spiritual origins and basis in traditional healing.

The Lotus Palm training is designed to merge Eastern practices with a Western approach to health and healing, while maintaining high standards of practice. In addition to the basic training, practitioners are encouraged to attend regularly scheduled and supervised workshops to ensure they maintain the massage's proper form and that they are using their own bodies correctly to prevent strain or injury. The Lotus Palm approach also links Thai massage to the ancient Indian healing tradition of Ayurveda, providing a solid philosophical and theoretical basis to the technique itself.

Ayurvedic Roots

Although it is called Thai massage, this bodywork has a therapeutic foundation in the Indian healing tradition of Ayurveda. Ayurveda comes from two Sanskrit words: ayur (life) and veda (knowledge). Together, these concepts refer to harmonious living and form a body of knowledge that acts as a guide to proper maintenance of life, explained Chow.

"The Ayurvedic approach to healing is still practiced in India and Sri Lanka and is receiving more recognition in the West for its ability to treat the body as a whole," he said. "Within Thailand, the Ayurvedic link to traditional Thai massage has been all but lost, and is now reduced to pharmaceutical purposes only. The aspect of massage and bodywork is no longer emphasized. One of the aims of the Lotus Palm method is to bridge the practice of Thai Yoga Bodywork to its Ayurvedic roots. This does not mean that we intend to operate as Ayurvedic doctors, but rather to integrate some general principles within our work." Chow likens this to shiatsu massage, where practitioners draw on the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), though they themselves are not TCM doctors.

Ayurveda means "science of life," and Chow said his aim is to simplify the concepts of Ayurveda and apply them within Thai bodywork. "It's a beautiful healing and lifestyle tradition," he said. "It's a mirror of yourself, representing who you are and how you are. Ayurveda strives to bring happiness and balance by addressing all aspects of a person: physical, mental and spiritual. This provides an opportunity and a method for positive change."

Lotus Palm practitioners are trained to create a massage that incorporates an ancient tradition of health and well-being with modern medical knowledge. Practitioners can determine each client's specific constitution and body type based on the Ayurvedic concept of the tridoshas -- vatta, pitta and kapha -- categorizations based on lifestyle, diet, emotional outlook, physical and emotional characteristics, etc., enabling the massage to be customized to each person's needs. Specific yoga exercises are also recommended to the client to further address their dosha requirements.

Meditation of Compassion

Lotus Palm training hails back to Thai massage's Buddhist philosophy, teaching that the massage is a healing meditation where the giver learns to feel the recipient's body as if it was her own. This deep awareness, incorporating the concept of metta and vipassana, reminds us that to touch another is to remember our connection to life itself, to a deeper source of being. This mindfulness and compassion is at the core of Lotus Palm.

"Meditation is the practice of being fully alive in the moment and present to whatever it is we are engaged in," said Chow. "It is essential for the Thai Yoga Bodywork practitioner to be in a meditative state while working. This helps them to be more centered and clear-minded."

To massage with clarity and the intention of kindness and compassion is believed to benefit both the giver and the receiver, allowing the life force to flow unobstructed between both. Such a practice cultivates a discipline of both internal and external awareness. You listen to yourself, you listen with your hands, and you hear the body and spirit in each moment.

Chow regularly leads participants in his classes in a chant: "Om Mane Padme Hum" -- a Tibetan mantra reflecting the spirit behind Thai Yoga Bodywork and the Lotus Palm method. Its translation: "May the jewel in the lotus shine forth this light of love and compassion to unite all existences as one. May all beings be happy."

In that mantra, we are taken back to the wat, to Thai massage's temple origins, and to the sacred nature of this practice: that to touch another is to reconnect to our bodies and to ourselves, to our true essence in the moment. In so doing, we are reminded that this awareness and compassion can be extended beyond a massage session and reach into the moments that constitute our daily lives.

The Advantages Of In Home Nursing Care

Many seniors who are frail, disabled, and infirmed prefer to stay in their own homes rather than in the hospital. Good thing there is in home nursing care to provide seniors all types of healthcare solutions ranging from personal care to technical nursing. Highly trained and qualified caregivers can be hired to provide in home nursing care ranging from a few hours to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Home healthcare services are provided by skilled nurses and health aides. Skilled nurses can administer medications and disease management programs. Meanwhile, health aides help seniors with daily activities such as bathing, eating, and walking. They may also provide assistance with monitoring bladder catheters, colostomy, or administering oxygen.

With in-home nursing services, seniors and their families enjoy many benefits. One such benefit is that you get quality health care that is a more affordable and cheaper option than a nursing home.

In addition to providing seniors medical aid at a low cost, in home nursing care also enhances the over-all well-being of seniors. This is because this type of nursing care allows them to maintain regular communication and daily socialization with other people. Such social interactions can help sharpen a senior's social skills and help him stay connected.

With the availability of professional medical care, family members don't have to be absent from work or school in order to care for their senior loved ones. For family caregivers, hiring in home nursing services allows them to have a well-deserved break.

Deciding when to hire in home nursing services for your senior parents can be challenging. Below are some of the possible cases when you should seriously think about hiring a home nursing care provider to provide professional care for your senior loved one.

1. When you can no longer provide all the care or assistance that your senior loved one needs. As your loved one advances in age, he might begin to lose the ability and strength to care for himself. For instance, your elderly parent may need help with using the toilet or getting into and out of the bed, but you don't have the physical ability and strength to provide for his needs. Instead of taking the risk of injuring yourself or neglecting your senior parent's need, you should consider hiring a home health care provider for him. When he has already recovered and he's beginning to move around again, a home health care worker can be hired to assist him with his daily activities and help him avoid future accidents or injuries.

2. When your senior parents suffer a fall. Seniors who have suffered a fall often sustain an injury that requires a surgery. In this case, the help of an in home nursing care professional may be necessary, especially while they are recovering.

3. Your senior loved ones require regular medical attention. Seniors who are critically ill may need the care and daily monitoring of a medical professional. Instead of keeping them in the hospital, which is often costlier, consider hiring in home nursing care for him. Seniors who continue to live in a familiar environment while they are receiving the right type of medical attention often recover more quickly than those who stay in a nursing home or other health care institution.

4. When you can no longer bear the emotional burden of caring for your senior parent. Watching your elderly loved one's health and mental state gradually decline can be emotionally devastating. But with a home health care professional providing the medical care and daily needs of your senior loved one, you can have more quality time to spend with him. Such time can be wisely spent by showering him all your love and attention instead of constantly worrying about how to provide him the right senior care. This makes in home nursing a practical option not only for your senior loved one, but for you and the entire family as well.

5. When your senior parents have symptoms of advanced dementia. Family members often find it difficult to handle senior loved ones who show signs of advanced dementia such as violent outbursts of erratic behavior. Home health care providers are often the best people to provide care for this type of patient, mainly because of the training and experience they have working with those suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's. These individuals have the special training needed in dealing with such difficult situations.

Nursing Home Activities Ideas For March

March is the month of St. Patrick's Day, the leprechaun, shamrocks, green beer and all things Irish. If you are an activity director in a nursing home and are planning activities around the Irish theme for this month, here are some activity suggestions to keep in mind.

Trivia games can be on all things green or on Ireland. A party theme could be the same and there are many crafts to be made in the spirit of the Irish too! Ireland is well known for its fabled leprechaun, pots of gold at the end of the rainbow, shamrocks, and beer. Though it is probably advisable not to serve your residents beer, you can serve many green coloured drinks and use food coloring to change the looks of many food dishes. Dressing in the spirit of the Irish is also very easy for you and the residents, just wear green!

Palm Sunday and Passover sometimes fall in this month. If you choose to celebrate these dates or acknowledge them for your religious residents, it is also possible to find resources for religious crafts, and trivia online. Christmas and Easter are usually the times to break out the gospel songs that everyone is willing to sing together. So dust of the CD's and sing along DVD's if you don't already use them, and get some instruments to accompany, if that's what you like.

Is it Spring you'd prefer to focus on rather than the Irish as a month long theme? There is no end to the activities you can do for Spring. It's a great time to get some potting soil and seeds. The smell of the rich compost is a beautiful smell of spring and every senior can be a part of planting the seeds in the soil for spring flowers to begin. In a few weeks, these will be ready for transplanting outdoors or into larger pots for everyone to enjoy.

Spring crafts could focus on butterflies, flowers, birdhouses and bird feeders. These can be relatively simply or more complex for those that require less help and supervision. From glitter and pom poms to sunflower seeds and wood, you can be pretty creative with the crafts you choose to make. The great thing about crafts is that you can have several different ones for seniors to choose their preference. Not all men want to make butterflies and flowers.

In keeping with the Spring theme for March activities, there are also many outings to do. Everyone has been 'cooped up' for months indoors and needs to get out, stretch, feel the sunshine on their faces and breathe in the spring air. Some outdoor activities will be dependent on where you live. Spring takes longer to arrive further north, but as it warms you can take seniors out to walk around a zoo, an outdoor market, park, or just get outside for a walk around the block.

Because it is the beginning of Spring, new changes and new birth, March is a great time to consider small makeovers to freshen things up. From hairdos and manicures to moving furniture around and adding art and new pictures to many walls, in your activities common areas and in residents rooms. As everyone's spirits are lightened with the longer days and fresh air, have a group sing along or invite in a musician to your facility, someone you haven't had before. Maybe a new and special talent. Spring is the time to try something new.

A sensory stimulating box might be a good activity for those that are bed bound. This could also be a spring theme, an Irish theme or in keeping with a religious tone for Passover. Items you can use are stones, candles, flowers, coin chocolates, items shamrock shaped or shaped like a cross. Include a gospel CD, Bible or scripture promises in some other form. Pictures of Ireland, the general outdoors, and different flowers are good to include too.

After months of soups and stews, maybe the seniors would like to dig into an ice cream cone or sundae. Ask them! They may have suggestions of other things they are just itching to do. Get their feedback and see where it takes you. March could be a great month for everyone.

Are Nursing Homes Like Jail?

You've probably never heard of Charles Todd "Bud" Lee, although he was an award-winning photojournalist whose work has been published in "Life" magazine, "Esquire," "The New York Times Magazine" and even "Rolling Stone." His photo of a bleeding 12-year old boy in Newark, New Jersey, who'd been caught in the crossfire of a police shooting, graced the cover of "Life" magazine in July, 1967. Almost exactly 16 years later, however, Bud suffered a stroke that left him semi-paralyzed and landed him in a Florida nursing home.

It turns out that Florida law requires nursing home care for Medicaid recipients, rather than allowing them to live wherever they choose. Bud is still there, in the Community Care Center in Plant City, Florida, an involuntary resident, more than five years later--and he's really angry.

Last September, Bud's plight caught the attention of Matt Sedentsky, a writer for the Associated Press. Sedentsky's subsequent September 21st article, arguing that Florida nursing homes, fearful of losing money, have successfully pressured politicians to make such alternatives as in-home health care difficult for Medicaid recipients to obtain.

He reported that Bud Lee has filed a lawsuit in federal court on behalf of the approximately 8,500 Floridians who are similarly institutionalized. As Bud succinctly described his situation, "Most of the people come here to die, so you want to die. It is a prison. I can't escape it."

A recent study found that seniors fear moving into a nursing home and the loss of their independence far more than death. Indeed, according to the study commissioned by Clarity and the EAR Foundation, fully 89 percent of America's elderly want to age in place, and will use adaptive technology to stay independent. Their Baby Boomer children, the study noted, are equally concerned about nursing home care for their parents, and they're eager to support their parents in this quest.

More than one-quarter of the study's respondents cited as a fear a loss of independence, which is closely aligned with the fear of nursing homes. Moving from their home into a nursing facility is a fear of 13 percent of seniors, while a mere three percent of research study participants identified the fear of death.

These fears appear to be justified. A recent report by the Department of Health and Human Services found that about 17 percent of nursing homes had deficiencies that caused "actual harm or immediate jeopardy" to patients, including infected bedsores, medication mix-ups, poor nutrition, and patient abuse and neglect. In fact, approximately 20 percent of the complaints verified by federal and state inspectors involved abuse or neglect of nursing home patients.

Last May, the 18,000 residents of Albert Lea, Minnesota were shocked to learn that 15 residents of the Good Samaritan nursing home, all suffering with Alzheimer's or dementia, had been verbally, emotionally and sexually abused by local high school girls who were working at the facility. The subsequent report by the Minnesota Department of Health quoted one employee as saying that "When (the students) would do these things, they would pull the curtain enough, so when they heard a door open, they could stop. They were quite sneaky about what they were doing. The ones they were targeting were those that have Alzheimer's so bad, that they wouldn't be able to say it or remember."

The report found that the abuse involved spitting and putting fingers in mouths, poking breasts and nipples, touching and tapping genitals, sticking buttocks in faces, rubbing buttocks and penises, anal insertion, and restraining residents and teasing them.

Following investigation by state and local authorities, a 19-year old and an 18-year old were charged with gross misdemeanors, carrying a maximum penalty of one year in jail and a $3,000 fine for each count. One of the teens faces 11 charges; the other, 10, including abuse of a vulnerable adult by a caregiver, abuse of a vulnerable adult with sexual contact, disorderly conduct, and failing to report suspected maltreatment. Four of the others, all 17 at the time of the alleged abuse, were charged in juvenile court with failure to report maltreatment.

More than 1.5 million people live in the nation's 15,000 nursing homes, which are typically inspected annually. They are required to meet federal standards as a condition of participating in Medicaid and Medicare, which cover more than two-thirds of their residents, at a cost of more than $75 billion a year.

Although there are obvious acts of nursing home abuse-long-term over-medication, for example--others are more subtle, or as in the Albert Lea situation described above, difficult to detect because of the dementia of the patient. Consequently, these cases can easily be overlooked by family members. Following are some indicators of abuse:

Bedsores or open wounds are common instances of neglect or abuse. Nursing home personnel often claim that bedsores are normal among frail or immobile seniors. Unfortunately, concerned family members are duped by these explanations, and their parents and loved ones suffer pain and sometimes die from these sores. Experts say that almost all bedsore cases are caused by abuse or neglect. Guidelines require nursing homes to move patients regularly and ensure that sheets and clothing are kept dry. Should a family member find a bedsore, insist that the victim is moved to a medical facility for treatment.

Unexplained bruises, cuts, burns or fractures are often evidence that residents are being dropped or abused by staff personnel. This often occurs when the senior is in a medicated condition. Family members are urged to ask questions to get clarification about these situations, and vague or questionable responses often indicate abuse.

Torn, bloody or stained garments are the best evidence of sexual abuse, which, as described above in the Albert Lea story, frequently occurs in nursing homes, where victims are often medicated or suffer from Alzheimer's or dementia. Refusal to allow contact with a resident, or unexplained delays in making the resident available for a visit, indicate underlying abuse, that is, the nursing home staff is attempting to intimidate or prevent the victim's reporting of the abuse or neglect.

Modifications to the resident's financial documents, including wills and trusts, are cause for suspicion, particularly if these changes occur abruptly or if the resident cannot adequately explain why they occurred. Such changes suggest that the resident may have been coerced or threatened.

Each of these warning signs should spur action among family and friends, including reports to police. Suspicions of sexual or physical abuse require changing nursing facilities, as well as police involvement. Nursing home residents, who are frequent targets of abuse, nonetheless have civil rights that need to be protected, most often, unfortunately, by concerned family members and friends.

Getting Rid of Dad's Boredom By Finding the Right Assisted Living Facility

If there is any state of being that my dad absolutely can not stand, it is boredom. All other emotions are perfectly acceptable, but not boredom. The man was always active. Growing up in my family, we did not just watch TV. Dad had to constantly talk about what was happening on the screen. I missed a lot of TV shows as a child because my dad was talking about them rather than watching them. Even if he was just reading the morning paper, Dad had to talk about the news. It did not seem to bother him that we had no idea what he was talking about as we had not read the paper.

That's what made me so sad after my dad had his hip replacement. He was bored. The only time he got out of the house was for physical therapy sessions. The doctor said the therapy would never be able to give him back his full mobility, not at his age and in his health. As cliche as it sounds, my dad really did become one of those old people who sit around all day blankly watching reruns of Matlock and Wheel of Fortune. He was bored. Things might have been different it was football season, but it was spring. I could not stand to see my dad bored.

I had to work so I could not be there all the time to talk to him, not that he wanted to talk to me at that point. With his hip being the way it was, he needed help with little things like putting his pants on too. I hated to do it, but I decided that I needed to find an assisted living facility for my dad. I just hoped that I could find one where he wasn't bored all the time.

I toured what seemed like hundreds of facilities. The residents in most seemed either as bored as my dad or way too active for him. Sure, before his hip replacement, he might have loved an independent living facility that was full of other seniors taking dance classes and going on long walks, but that would not work now. Even though I told my them about my dad's situation, so many facilities insisted on telling me how active all of their residents were.

Finally, after a long search -- it seemed endless -- I found an assisted living facility that got my dad's unique situation. Sure, they showed me lots of seniors dancing and bowling and doing all sorts of other extremely active things. It was also an independent living facility so that was to be expected. However, they also took the time to show me their assisted living residents who were in similar situations as my dad's. What really got me was the movie screening room where a group of residents were watching some old John Wayne film and talking about it just like my dad used to do. They even let me talk to the assisted living and the independent living residents to see how they liked the place. Turns out they all loved it.

Now, I just had to convince my dad to go into a retirement home. As you might expect, he resisted and threw a fit. I think I heard him say, "No, retirement home" at least one hundred times in the space of two weeks. I'm not sure how I did it, maybe it was the nagging, but I finally got him to just go with me to visit the place. He started the visit in a bad mood and was predictably determined to hate the place. Then, something happened. The same group of residents that I had seen in the movie room, whisked my dad away from me and the tour guide.

To this day, I do not know what those residents said to my dad or what they all did. All that I know is dad returned a couple of hours later and said, "I'm staying." Of course, it was not that easy and it took a couple of weeks to get everything arranged for dad to move in. But once he did, that assisted living facility became his new home and I got my old dad back. He wasn't bored any more.

Seniors Advocates and Assisted Living in Manitoba

In the province of Manitoba there is no authorization or screening required to operate an Assisted Living facility or community. They are privately owned facilities and are not licensed or government regulated. The Manitoba Home Care Program provides professional services to Assisted Living residents based upon their individual eligibility.

Manitoba Home Care
The Manitoba Home Care Program is the oldest program of its kind in Canada and was established in September 1974. In 2009 - 10 Home Care provided services to more than 35,000 individuals in Manitoba, most being seniors. The Regional Health Authorities (RHAs) are responsible for Home Care operations in each of the eleven regions covering the province of Manitoba.

Healthy Living
The Manitoba Government's 'Department of Healthy Living, Youth and Seniors' focus is on wellness and illness prevention. In partnership with the communities, the schools and the workplaces in the province, the Healthy Living department promotes health and wellness in every stage of life from infants to seniors and their goal is that healthy choices are easier and more accessible to everyone. The Minister of the Department of Healthy Living, Jim Rondeau is dedicated to the goals and initiatives that his department supports.

Seniors and Healthy Aging
Seniors and Healthy Aging is a part of the Department of Healthy Living, Youth and Seniors. The Seniors and Healthy Aging Secretariat acts as a point of contact to seniors and organizations ensuring that government policies and programs reflect the needs of Manitoba seniors. The Secretariat works to promote independence, health and well being to older Manitoba residents by being a source of information and providing research support to the Manitoba Council on Aging and an advisory body to the Minister of Healthy Living.

The Manitoba Council on Aging
The Manitoba Council on Aging is an advisory body to the Minister of Healthy Living, Youth and Seniors. It is the responsibility of the Council to ensure that the seniors' perspective is provided and reflected in government policies and programs that relate directly to seniors. A complete description of the roles and responsibilities of the Manitoba Council on Aging can be found on the Manitoba Government Website.

Age-Friendly Manitoba Initiative
Another important initiative is the Age-Friendly Manitoba Initiative led by the Seniors and Healthy Aging Secretariat. The Initiative works to create environments that value their seniors within the communities of Manitoba. Their mission statement is built around community values including celebrating the diversity of all Manitoba residents and to make Manitoba the most age-friendly province in Canada. The goals and resources of Age-Friendly Manitoba are explained in greater detail on their website.

Finding Assisted Living Communities in Manitoba
The definition of Assisted Living in Manitoba is similar to that of the other Canadian provinces. Assisted Living facilities combine independent living with services such as housekeeping, laundry, transportation and meals and are customized according to the requirements or needs of the individual. The Manitoba government does not subsidize daily fees for living in an Assisted Living facility or community but seniors may qualify for Home Care Services or the Manitoba Shelter Benefit Program.

Homestead Manitoba
Homestead Manitoba is one example of Assisted Living in Manitoba. They have been established in Manitoba since 2003 and they take great pride in providing the best possible services to their residents. Their communities include Kildonan House in North Kildonan, MB, Sterling House in Winnipeg, Dakota House located in the heart of St.Vital, MB, and Devonshire House in Winnipeg.

Movie Review - Detachment (2012) (Not Rated)

Desperation and Despondency as a Wakeup Call

I had no idea how ill prepared I was to experience Detachment. Here is a film that plunges headfirst into the depths of disillusionment, despair, and failure and almost never resurfaces for air. You will experience emotions normally repressed during movie watching. You will be saddened, shocked, and above all, angered. You will see things you wouldn't ever want to see and hear things that should never be heard. You will wade through a sea of bleakness, desperately searching for some small shred of hope to cling on to. At the end of it all, you will be so psychologically drained that, for a time, it may seem as if you will never be happy again. At the same time, you will also get to thinking, and that's exactly why I'm recommending this movie so highly.

A few months ago, I snubbed my nose at the critically acclaimed thriller The Grey, an equally hopeless and depressing but also nihilistic story about men who must fight against wolves, and themselves, in the snowy Alaskan wilderness. Unlike that film, which reduced its compelling ideas into a cheap and shallow thriller, Detachment uses its desperation and despondency to make a point. I don't see it as a movie so much as a wakeup call, a way for audiences to understand not just the world but themselves as well. At its essence, it's an examination of behaviors that are perpetuated by people that have the power to stop it. It might not seem like they have the power. In fact, it might seem like absolutely everything is working against them. There's no question that rising above adversity is a challenge. Nevertheless, it's one that must be faced.

The main setting is an inner city public high school, one that exemplifies with horrifying detail the failure of the No Child Left Behind act of 2001. Most of the students are poorly educated, violent, and foulmouthed. They have no respect for others, but more to the point, they have no respect for themselves. They have, in fact, degenerated into pure apathy. This has rubbed off on the faculty, for they know that all their years of teaching and guidance haven't made the slightest difference. They're constantly berated by furious parents for being so lousy at their jobs. It's almost as if they have relinquished themselves of the responsibility of actually raising their own children. Is your son or daughter a problem? Don't take the necessary steps of working towards a solution - simply dump them off at school and let the teachers do the dirty work.

Bearing witness to all of this is a substitute teacher Henry Barthes (Adrien Brody). He struggles to make a difference, all the while knowing that he's failing miserably. He sees nothing but people who have given up, and he's within of inch of giving up on himself. His personal life is a mess; his grandfather (Louis Zorich), in the advances states of some kind of dementia, languishes in a nursing home staffed by people who simply don't care. He has flashbacks of a childhood scarred by the absence of a father, an alcoholic mother, and a deep tragedy. He eventually takes in an underage prostitute named Erica (Sami Gayle). He's saddened by her situation and even helps her in a few important regards, but he doesn't coddle her like a frightened puppy. He wants to get through to her that she has value as a person, that she's so much better than giving oral sex to men on the bus. He's also tortured by the fact that their arrangement can't last forever.

Several distinguished actors make appearances in this film, mostly as faculty members. These would include Marcia Gay Harden, Tim Blake Nelson, James Caan, Lucy Liu, Blythe Danner, Christina Hendricks, Isiah Whitlock, Jr., Bryan Cranston, and William Petersen. All are in various stages of professional and personal breakdown; Nelson plays a teacher who isn't noticed by anyone, Caan plays an administrator who can only get through the day on medication and biting wit, and Harden plays a woman who knows that the end is near. In one of the best scenes, Liu lashes out at a student for her disrespect and indifference at her own future. She gets nothing but kids like this day in and day out. What is the point of pointing out their academic shortcomings when they obviously won't take the steps to better themselves?

Of all the actors that appeared in the film, the most compelling is Betty Kaye as a student named Meredith, who observes the school through the lens of her camera. She creates dark collages with her photos. Her creativity is labeled by her unseen but clearly heard father as unnecessary teen angst. Believing only beautiful people are worthy of attention, he cruelly harps on her about her overeating, the way she dresses, and her social isolation. Meredith, an intelligent young woman, makes a connection with Barthes. Unfortunately, her self-esteem is so low that she misinterprets his encouragement as personal affection.

The film intercuts linear scenes with multiple narrative techniques, none more resonant than Barthes' documentary-style confessionals. The final scene begins with him reading the opening sentences from Edgar Allan Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher," which should already tell you everything you need to know. The message of Detachment is simply one of responsibility and caring. If you're a parent, nurture your children and allow them to be themselves. Don't expect a school system to raise them for you - as they say, education begins at home. Before you point out someone else's flaws, first recognize your own. Understand that you're not perfect. Be thoughtful of others. And above all, know that you matter. There is no tragedy deeper than giving up on yourself.

Senior Care: In-Home or in a Nursing Home?

Many seniors are not satisfied when placed in a nursing home. This is because they want to maintain their dignity by living independently in their own home for as long as possible. If your senior loved one needs any form of care and you're considering which type of senior care is best for him, then consider providing him in-home care services. This is the best type of senior care because it allows an individual to stay in a familiar surrounding while receiving the right care they need.

Often, price and care are great determining factors in choosing the right type of senior care. In home care services do not include charges on hospital or nursing home facilities and equipment so they are usually cheaper and more affordable. Nursing home's cost varies by state, but in general the expenses are often far above the median income of most seniors. Medicare can only cover a small portion of long-term care. For this reason, seniors who cannot afford the costs of a nursing home can start to consider about hiring in-home care services.

There are more benefits to receiving home care services than staying in nursing homes. For most seniors, the ability to keep certain level of independence can help improve their quality of life as well as their over-all well-being. Besides, not all elders need full-time assistance. Some are still mentally and physically fit to perform daily chores and they only need some help in other areas of their life, such as grocery, shopping, or going to doctor's appointments. These types of seniors may only need help for a few hours a day. But even those who need constant care may still find it more beneficial to stay in their own home than in a nursing home. Sick seniors who receive in home care services often receive more personalized care than those who stay in nursing homes, where staff has to attend to many people with different levels of needs.

As in-home senior care becomes more and more common, so are the options for you to choose from. The industry involved in providing senior care services has expanded to provide services aimed at enriching your senior loved one's life by means of a personalized home care services. There are at least three categories of senior care to choose from, namely, personal care, companionship, and home maker services; and the type you choose depends mainly on your senior loved one's needs.

Personal Care Services

The personal care services provided depend mainly on every individual's needs. This may include bathing, which is important in making a person feel well and more comfortable. Helping your loved one perform daily activities he needs to remain mentally and physically active is also part of this type of service. Meal planning and preparation for seniors requiring a special diet can also be provided by in-home care providers in coordination with the senior's health care professionals and family members.

Companion Services

In this fast-paced world, where we often don't even have time to say Hi or wave goodbye to our senior loved ones, life can be very solitary and lonely for them. This is where companion services play a vital role. Having individuals to provide companionship to your senior loved one can greatly enhance the quality of his life. This type of services is typically offered for only a couple of hours a day, or many days in a week depending on the needs of a senior. Services may include conversation, grocery shopping, running errands, medication reminders, and respite for family members.

Homemaker Services

Homemaker services are almost the same services offered by personal care and companion providers. Receiving this type of senior care in home often puts off the need for an individual to be transferred to a nursing facility or allows someone who has been hospitalized to return home much sooner.

Selecting a senior care in-home provider requires probing into the credentials of the individual if you're hiring directly or an agency's credentials, should you choose to hire a caregiver through them. Make sure that the service provider you hire is highly trained and qualified to provide dependable care to your loved one. If at all possible, do a background check of the person just to ensure that you're leaving your loved one in good hands. With the right senior care provider, your loved one can enjoy full freedom and satisfaction while living in familiar surroundings, which is what is lacking in nursing homes.

Avoid Being Uncomfortable at a Hospital and Use Home Health Care

What happens when the health problem requires medical attention over the course of a long period of time or even for the rest of your life? Being hospitalized for long periods of time can be both uncomfortable and expensive as well. In events such as these, home health care can be a solution to the problem.

Home health care is, as the name suggests, any health care assistance in the comfort of your own home. There are a variety of companies that offer these services and each with various specializations to provide any sort of assistance that a person may require.

Companies that handle these are primarily oriented towards senior citizens. However, any person with an illness or disability that requires continual assistance may benefit from it as well.

Most companies offer their services in a variety of places (other than in your own home) such as nursing homes, rehabilitation centers and retirement facilities.

Home health care can be provided on a short or long term basis. It can benefit people recover from an accident or surgery after leaving the hospital or maybe provided for people with permanent disabilities or who are otherwise unable to take care of themselves. The services that companies generally focus on range from companionship and assistance to the patients to do some of their daily chores to twenty four hour care. Many of the companies' caregivers are trained nurses and can administer doses of medication or provide specialized medical assistance.

This is usually sought when the family members of the patient have a hard time being able to give all the assistance that the patient requires.

Choosing the right care program can be difficult. A primary concern can be the cost of acquiring home health care services. As mentioned before, there are many home health care companies, both privately and publicly owned. Privately owned companies require a greater personal expense in order to hire their services whereas Medi-care based agencies require little or no cost. Medi-care based agencies can even offer better assistance as they are held to stricter standards than some of the privately owned home health care companies. The first step to choosing the right agency, regardless of whether it's public or private, is the sort of services they offer. Some care providers only provide skilled services such as nursing, therapy and home aide and other agencies focus more on personal care and sitter services. The family members should research on several companies to choose which one best suits their needs. Even after a home health care service has been obtained and provided, family members are encouraged to occasionally supervise that their loved ones are getting the help they need.

Home health care is a great benefit for people who have trouble accomplishing some of their daily tasks. In this manner, family members know that their loved ones are getting all the help they need and continue to enjoy their company.

The Job Outlook for Nursing Careers

Although the economy is sluggish, the job outlook for nursing careers still looks pretty good especially compared with many other careers that are experiencing hiring freezes at the moment. We will always need nurses, and even if hospitals are enacting some hiring freezes, travel nurses and other nursing positions are always going to be available. In fact, the Bureau of Labor Statistics foresees a much faster job growth for nurses compared to other careers through the year 2016.

It is expected that the employment of nurses will grow by more than approximately 20 percent over the next decade, and there is a variety of reasons for this. The elderly population continues to grow, technologies that require well-trained medical professionals continue to advance, older nurses continue to retire and patient care continues to progress. This expected growth will translate to more than half a million jobs for registered nurses if it plays out the way most experts think it will.

Although hospitals always need nurses, the most rapid growth for nursing careers can be found outside the traditional healthcare facility. The biggest growth of nursing jobs will be in home health care organizations, private physicians' offices and outpatient care centers. This does not seem to apply, however, to mental health and substance abuse care centers. Other areas of growth will be in employment services, particularly traveling nurse agencies, and in nursing homes for the elderly and disabled. There will also be job growth in hospitals.

Physicians' offices should experience the biggest growth due to the increased number of procedures being performed on an outpatient basis, which do not require any hospital stay. Home health care is a growing field because more and more elderly people are staying in their homes longer, opting for advanced home treatment rather than moving into nursing homes. It takes a specially trained nurse to administer the kind of care these elderly patients often need later in their lives. With such a good job outlook for nursing careers, it seems like as good a time as ever to get into this continuously growing field.

Tort Reform: What Is It and How Does It Affect You?

You may have heard or read the term "tort reform" recently regarding litigation and verdicts awarded to victims of nursing home abuse, medical malpractice, or defective products. If you were unclear as to what it meant, read on.

What is Tort Reform?

Tort reform is an effort to take away the average consumer's rights to fair compensation for substantial losses brought on by negligent manufacturers, doctors, nurses, or caregivers. Tort reform allows big businesses and other power players to get away with negligence, fraud, or other acts of harm. These corporations and insurance companies, along with their political counterparts and lobbyist, promote an aggressive campaign of propaganda, boasting false economic benefits of tort reform, in hopes to drum up popular support for limiting ordinary citizens their rights. These well-funded lobbyist push for caps on the recoveries that judges and juries can award in litigation and, in turn, aims to limit liability and allow companies to escape full and fair compensation to the people they injure.

Who is in Favor of Tort Reform?

Tort reform advocates are a coalition of insurance companies, HMO groups, pharmaceutical companies, big businesses, and other interests who want to protect companies from liability when they harm their own consumers.

Who is NOT in Favor of Tort Reform?

Contenders of tort reform include civil rights advocates, consumer advocate groups, plaintiffs attorneys, labor groups, state prosecutors, legal scholars, and more. Some of these entities include The

Public Citizen, The Committee for Justice for All, Mothers Against Drunk Drivers(MADD), The Center for Justice and Democracy, and The American Association for Justice.

Who is Harmed by Tort Reform?

Consumers are the victims of tort reform. Tort reform takes away your right to a fair case, in which an impartial judge or jury looks at the facts of your case to determine liability, if you are eligible for compensation, and what that compensation should be. We trust juries every day to determine if people are guilty of capital crimes and other serious offenses, but tort reformists claim that we shouldn't be able to count on them to determine fair compensation for someone whose life has been negatively affected by the negligence of another.

Particularly in the case of medical malpractice, doctors are made to appear the victims of the tort system. However, most of the damages paid to those harmed by medical malpractice comes from the deep pockets of the insurance industry. When tort reform legislations are passed and insurance companies are shielded from paying for the mistakes of their insured, they do not pass those savings down to doctors who are charged outrageous premiums to obtain medical malpractice insurance. Our doctors are simply being used as pawns in an effort by insurance companies to pay out less in damages, and raise premiums anyway.

Medical malpractice lawyers know of the dangers of tort reform and what it could mean for victims of negligence. In some states, reform legislation has been passed, and the face of justice is changing. In some states like Texas,, total recoveries are capped by the legislature (even though the actual damages suffered to by the victim is ten times the amount). Tort Reformists, medical malpractice insurance lobbyists, and corporate nursing homes all desperately want to prevent ordinary citizens from fair compensation for injuries that could potentially afflict them for the rest of their lives. These tort reformists and HMO lobbyist supporters want the government to place caps on how much a jury is allowed to compensate injured patients.

Can you imagine the conflict of interest? A politician who takes campaign dollars from pro-tort reform corporations like Exxon, making a law that forbids a jury who has heard the evidence of the corporate wrongdoing to compensate the victims of malpractice for all of the harm they have suffered - no matter what. Should an elected official make a law that says $100,000 is fair for causing a young mother of 4 children to lose a breast to cancer? Should a politician who take campaign contributions from the insurance lobbyist be able to prevent a jury from awarding more than $250,000 for causing a father of small children to spend a lifetime in a wheel chair? Why should a politician make a law that forbids a jury from awarding more that $300,000 for a child who will live the rest of his or her life with a debilitating brain injury and have 10 times that amount in medical bills?

These "tort reform" caps on mothers, fathers and children's compensation would also eliminate the possibility of punitive damages in the case of willful and intentional conduct. Monetary punishments are one of the few effective ways to hold corporate wrongdoers accountable for purposefully harming consumers in the name of profit.

These "tort reform" measures are so burdensome, that just recently it was revealed that woman who lost both of her legs to admitted medical negligence can't find a lawyer confident enough in their judicial system to take on her case.

The bottom line is that this called "Tort reform" is being pushed by insurance company lobbyist and big business because it would immunize the vast majority of corporate nursing homes, product manufacturers, pharmaceutical companies, car manufacturers, banks and home builders.

In this era of BP Oil spills, Enron, Hurricane Katrina fraud, Ponzi schemes, suddenly accelerating cars and fraudulent foreclosures, why would anybody support these "tort reform" measures that forbid ordinary citizens the right to a jury trial and fair damages?

Oklahoma Long Term Care

The Genworth Financial names Oklahoma as the sixth state with wide choices as well as the most affordable nursing home services in the entire United States. The results are based on the recent study of Genworth Financial's Choice and Affordability Index.

Based on reports, nursing homes range $48,000 and above a year stay in Oklahoma, and the costs continue to rise sharply over the five year period. The rates are found highest in Oklahoma City. Meanwhile, the hourly rates of Medicare-certified home health aide have escalated in the last five years. It is disheartening for care-giving families who are compelled to spend down large money of at least $89,378 a year for home care services.

Most taxpayers and all residents believe that Medicaid and Medicare would cover the expenses for long term care. Ironically, these publicly-funded programs do not cover long term care and leave the burden on the shoulders of Oklahomans and their caregiving families. The program of Medicaid or "SoonerCare" health care has stringent policies in providing care for qualified applicants; thus, many residents feel the program is useless as ever. The program prioritizes applicants with maximum of $2,000 savings and $2,022 gross income. Once eligible, all of the applicant's income, exclusive of $50 personal monthly allowance, must pay the nursing home costs.

Moreover, to qualify for Medicaid, all applicants are not allowed to simply transfer their assets to heirs or put them in an irrevocable trust. The gifts or transfer of assets must had occurred prior to five years of application for Medicaid eligibility benefits. Failure to comply on this rule will require the applicant to personally pay the long term care costs. Revocable trust is exempted from Medicaid eligibility benefits. In 2009, SoonerCare paid long term care costs for more than 21,000 Oklahomans. Nursing home care received the highest budget with 13 percent of Medicaid's $3.9 annual expenditures.

Oklahomans, who haven't purchased private insurance plan, have no option but pay for LTC costs themselves until their assets reach the amount allowed by State Medicaid program. Residents need to follow the stringent rules including the transfer of assets that make the eligibility process horrible.

Oklahoma Long Term Care Insurance Partnership

The Oklahoma Long Term Care Insurance Partnership is a joint effort of the State of Oklahoma and private insurance industry to address the increasing demands for long term care, while aspiring to reduce the financial impact on residents and caregiving families. The Oklahoma Health Care Authority, the Oklahoma Insurance Department, and private insurance companies join hand-in-hand to provide policies that provide maximum benefits such as asset disregard and inflation protection.

The asset disregard benefit deals with the most excruciating problem when applying for Medicaid -- the asset limit. Through this benefit, applicants may protect assets as much as they want to, but still qualify for Medicaid coverage. Therefore, Oklahomans can receive LTC without exhausting their hard-earned assets and lifetime's savings for SoonerCare. Partnership policies ignore the amount of assets a person have when determining the eligibility benefits, and the amount received from policy benefits is equal to assets that can be protected or called the dollar-for-dollar protection.

The inflation protection protects policyholders from the increasing costs of long term care services. A minimum of 3 percent inflation benefit is included on policies for people aged 60 and below. The inflation benefit is optional for those aged 76 and above.

Paint Your Holiday the Way You Want It to Be

Shirley's husband of 42 years died suddenly this spring of a heart condition. Brittany's husband served in the U.S. Army in Iraq for the past 9 months. This was supposed to be their first Christmas together, but he won't be home. Martha is homebound and lives in an assisted living facility; her family is hundreds of miles away. Stuart's son died; everyone asks how his wife is doing, but no one asks how he is feeling. Shelley was recently divorced and lives with her mother, again.

There is a myth that holiday grief affects only those who have lost a loved one. The truth is holiday grief and anxiety affects many people-all experiencing different life changing situations that challenge them to find a reason for the season. For each, holiday celebrations will change; and they aren't going to be what they used to be.

Perhaps, you remember the paintings and covers of the Saturday Evening Post during the 50's and 60's? Norman Rockwell's pictures always told a story. His pictures portrayed American life and values. People rushed to the newsstands to buy the prestigious magazine and find rapture in the scenes he illustrated. His era with Post ended in 1963, but his masterpieces continued to tell the stories of life the way it used to be.

In our lives today, whether or not we grew up in Norman Rockwell times, we build visual images worthy of the Norman Rockwell collection of holiday paintings. In our minds, we remember the "ideal" holiday event and the positive emotions surrounding it. Rockwell's holiday themes depict a vivacious, spunky Santa full of surprises; frolicking children, and perfect families enjoying typical family gatherings; festive meals; building snowmen; and chasing the postman. Everything in his pictures is perfect. Rockwell once said, "I paint life as I'd like it to be."

We are influenced by the great images of artists such as Rockwell. If only life could always be "as we would like it to be." Unfortunately, the realities of life are sometimes harsh. We try to avoid them by misinterpreting the truths and creating a mythical sense of euphoria. We struggle through the daze of holiday grief and give in to myths that complicate our already clouded view of the coming holidays. Grief and holidays come burdened with many myths.

What is a myth?

A myth is a story or something that is not true and may be handed down from generation to generation, like a legend. It is often a fabricated story or fact that cannot be validated. A myth, however, is something very easy to believe-because we want to believe it.

Grief from loss makes us vulnerable to many myths. Things aren't always what they seem. Our beliefs and attitudes are very powerful forces in our lives. We have a perception of what the holiday should be like based on past holidays and "ideal" holidays. Often, our perception of the holiday may be a myth. We believe that everything has to be perfect or the holiday is not worth celebrating.

What kind of holiday do you picture this year? Is it a season filled with doom and gloom or can you step aside from your grief and create a Norman Rockwell kind-of holiday in which everything is nearly perfect? Or, at least, a holiday that is the best that it can be.

It's possible to change the myths and create new realities that will allow you to step through the season with grace and sanity, in your control. Here are a few ideas of how to expose these myths and replace them with a new reality.

Myth: Holiday grief begins around Christmas Eve Day and ends right after New Years Day or when the decorations come down.

Truth: Holidays may begin earlier for some people. In fact holidays may begin as early as Halloween. Around our house, the holidays began right before the deer hunting season. Typically we were experiencing first snow and the men would begin celebrating the "spirit" of deer hunting while the women began building the "spirit of the season" by shopping. This was the tradition.

After our son, Chad, died, the tradition lost its glow. The harsh reality was-hunting wasn't as exciting as it used to be, and Chad wasn't going. Some friends gave us a DVD of Chad at one of his last hunting parties at the shack. It had been 14 years since his death. The DVD laid on our table, because we were both so fearful of seeing his image and experiencing the raw loss again. Finally, we played the DVD and with tears of great joy (and sadness) we witnessed the spirit of our beautiful son who loved to "clown around", dance, and hang out with the guys. It was a "good" cry.

The holidays still begin around hunting season for us, but it's not about hunting any more. Gary gave up hunting, but I didn't give up shopping. The focus wasn't around Christmas and gifts, but rather around hosting a community holiday grief program and enjoying ongoing relationships with family and friends.

So how do you dissolve the myth and create a manageable holiday? Plot out a time frame for your holiday season...whether it is a week, a couple of days or however long you think the "hard" times will be. Create a signal for yourself that tells you when that period of time is over. For us, the queue is taking down the Christmas tree. It's our sign of relief that the holiday is over and we can go back to routine.

Prepare for the uncomfortable moments and the thoughtless questions and remarks. You are going to get them. In your mind, determine how you will answer and stick with your rehearsed answers. Plan an escape. If you are in a "captured" setting, drive your own car. Or have an excuse when you wish to leave. You determine when.

I could picture Norman Rockwell illustrating this scene in today's world. I see a "get-away" car parked conveniently at the curb with the motor running when Uncle Jack pats you on the back and says, "You're strong. Keep a stiff upper lip."

Myth: At gatherings, it is inappropriate to mention fond memories of our loved that died. It makes others feel uncomfortable.

Truth: Holidays are a time for reflection. Remembering our loved one is essential to our good health and healing. Stories and memories will be with us for our lifetimes and are the one true source of pleasure.

Create a safe environment and remember out loud. Say his or her name and chuckle at the rich stories of life. Shed a tear and follow it up with silently saying, "I still love you." Teach others that love lasts forever; that you need to remember; and this is your reality for handling grief.

I could picture Norman Rockwell illustrating the scene today. The family may be gathered around a loose-bound, well-illustrated collection using the hottest scrapbooking skills. It's a volume of endless pictures that tell a life story through stamping techniques, assorted mementos, anecdotes and written interpretation of a particular event or day. A memory candle burns softly on the same table. Family and friends of all ages share the experience with mixed expressions: smiles, tears, chuckles, finger-pointing, and hugs.

Myth: Traditions are something you do year-after-year, and they aren't meant to be changed.

Truth: Just because we always did it that way doesn't mean we can't infuse our celebration with new ideas that fit into this generation of living and the present moment.

Every family goes through lifestyle changes-and those changes affect how traditions continue or are discontinued. Kids move away and go to college. Parents become "empty nesters" and "snowbirds." Teen-agers want to spend more time with their friends rather than with relatives on a holiday. Elderly parents don't want to cook; so, they may opt for dinner out.

At some point, we seem to outgrow traditions like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Maybe a death in the family is one of these times that means "let's try something new."

So how do you dissolve this myth and create a manageable holiday? Be open-minded. Reflect on past changes in other families as well as your own. If traditions bring unhappy memories, change them. Don't be a puppet and let others tell you how to spend your day. There are no set rules. Create a family contest on who can come up with the best "new" tradition. It's admirable to take pride in the traditions that work.

I can picture Norman Rockwell illustrating this scene today with a Christmas tree glowing in LED lights of red, blue, orange and fuchsia pink and grandma and grandpa engaged in a rousing game of WII bowling on the large screen plasma television. (Bet they beat the grandkids!)

Myth: When the second holiday season comes around, I will be over my grief and can return to the old traditions.

Truth: The second holiday may feel just as sad as the first. And for many, returning to the past holiday traditions is no longer desirable.

The second holiday season for us wasn't as easy as I originally thought it might be. But because we changed the traditions during the first holiday season, it was easier to accept that the change was good, and we wanted to do it that way again.

Remember grief is a process and that requires a different amount of time for healing for each of us. Don't hurry the process. If the second holiday is still a bit painful, you can try for the third-and in the meantime work at removing the barriers between peace and past. Holidays will always lack some of the precious moments of past years, but that doesn't mean holidays can't be good.

A real positive influence in dissolving holiday grief is "giving to someone else." Giving-meaning not gifts, but time and of yourself. There are so many people with needs in every community. Volunteer at charity events. Ring a bell for the Salvation Army. Pick a gift name off the Tree of Giving. Do something for someone that "feels good."

I can picture Norman Rockwell illustrating this life change by sketching a bereaved mom and dad serving meals in the big kitchen at a local shelter or gently consoling someone less fortunate with a loving hand on their shoulder. A church bell gently tolls outside the window while delicate snowflakes filter through the streetlight. A bright star-the star of HOPE shines magnificently in the distance.

Hope is an attitude of the spirit, and energy for the soul. It challenges myths and creates new realities. Norman Rockwell's illustrations in the current time might clearly be very different than they used to be. His gift would depict human values that show deep sensitivity to life's pain. While he showed "life the way I want it to be", new illustrations could witness to the testimonies of triumph over grief-and life "the way it is." This year be like Norman Rockwell, create a new canvas. Paint your holiday the way you want it to be.